you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
