The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
