I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
