I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
