dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
