Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Can I color on your dick again?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
