Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
