Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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