He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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