Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am one with the molecules
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I have already put on my inside pants.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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