dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
