Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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