It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
