Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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