the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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