Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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