Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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