I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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