watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
