Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
