so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
