Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize