New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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