I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
