Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
