Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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