I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
