Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
