Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
