I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
