she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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