my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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