one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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