In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
