I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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