she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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