I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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