Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
