I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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