Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize