...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
