What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
