Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
