dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize