i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
