it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
