oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
