and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
