Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
