I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
