Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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