all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize