That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
