He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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