whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
