She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
