Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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