Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
