woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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