That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
