HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
