So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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