I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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